Pressin' on

Oh man, so much has happened over the past few weeks, some of which I can't disclose here. But here goes. Chris and I both leave next Thursday, and I find myself thinking, where did this summer go? It seems like I am just getting settled here, and now I have to leave.

It has been challenging the past few weeks, to keep on loving these people. I realize that we are called to love every person we meet just as Jesus loves them - that we are called to literally exhibit Christ in our lives. What comes with comfort in a situation is the temptation to fall into apathy, and slack in loving. In the words of Relient k, "being apathetic is a pathetic way to be." I think that the solution for apathy lies in a clear vision. When we see Jesus for who He really is, and we see the situation we are in for what it really is, we have no choice but to go into battle and... love, as oxymoronic as that sounds. As it is written, "Where there is no vision, the people perish" (Proverbs 29:18a KJV)

So! In the next few weeks, I want to love these people like Jesus does, and just be available in every situation to be used for God's glory. I desire the same attitude as Paul, which led him to say, "But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14) I know I've failed so many times to love these people like I should... but that's what the whole "forgetting what is behind part" is for. I just have to trust that God would use me in everything that I do, think, and say. Lord Jesus, may you be glorified in these last few days here.

Oh, and a shout out to Harry and Shari, and Ian: thanks for the support check! You have no idea what beautiful timing that was.

Tonight

Tonight Chris and I are running chapel service! He's leading worship and I'm bringing the word. Pray that God would use us for His glory, that He would show up in a mighty way!

One lightbulb from the Lamp

Crazy things happening here. There is a lot of spiritual warfare going on... and it breaks my heart that not all who proclaim Christ's name live it out. That some who are supposedly good might be corrupt. It absolutely enrages me to the core to see people being taken advantage of. That's why I'm here, to help those who can't help themselves, and point them to Jesus.

A passage in Romans sticks out to me in this situation - Romans 12:9-21:

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality."
"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited."
"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary:
'If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.'
Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good."

Man this is a challenging verse - not in the theory, but in the application. In fact, most of the Bible is like that. Lord, help me to live this out, by your Holy Spirit.

A quick outburst of feeling

God is so good! It is amazing how He continually provides for us with exactly what we need, at exactly the right time. I think I'm getting a little more than I bargained for in coming down here - but let's not be premature.

So I know that that's really vague, but I'll put up more as things progress... oh and Brit, here's your shout out. You're not too bad, sis. I'm tired, so more to come later. Peace.

Man your battle stations

Disclaimer: this will be a long one.

It's been a crazy past week, and things are about to get a lot crazier. How true it is that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:15) I have seen and fought in many battles of spiritual warfare in the past week and a half.

One example is Brian, a sweet middle-aged man who I have talked with and prayed with many times over the past few weeks. The first time I talked to him, he was so sad and depressed that he cried as he expressed his grief over his inability to kill himself. We prayed for healing for his mental illnesses, and also his Crohn's disease. We have talked and prayed together many times since this, and he has expressed his love for God to me. About a week ago, I saw him, and he was just overjoyed. His stomach had healed a good bit, and he had a part time job handing out fliers. I shared this joy with him. I noticed that he hadn't come in for a few nights, and when I saw him, I found out that he had spent his money getting drunk. This makes me just sick inside, because of the progress he had made just beforehand. God had answered his prayers in a mighty way, and then he shows contempt by wasting his provision on drunkenness. Please pray that God would show him how He desires a holy life out of him.

Another example of spiritual warfare occurred last Wednesday night. About 2 in the morning, Chris woke me up and told me we had to pray for a guy. I was half-asleep until the moment I saw this man's eyes (his name is Richard). He was shaking violently and speaking just crazy things - scary things. We prayed that God would heal him, and he told us that he had demons. I don't doubt that he had both demons and a mental handicap. So we prayed over him in the name of Jesus, that he would be healed and freed of his demons. He eventually stopped shaking and went to sleep.

Frustration

Man, I'm so frustrated right now. There is a distinct difference between giving people what they need and giving people what they think they need. This one guy, Arther E., has been bugging me for the past two weeks now. He brought his clothes up and left them in the day room, expecting us to wash them. However, we don't wash other people's clothes for them, we only open our machines on Fridays for them to do it themselves.

And then, when his clothes were lost (or probably more likely, stolen), he got belligerent, blaming me for losing his stuff. He has taken pot shots at me for the last 2 weeks - usually in the form of cursing and demanding that I provide for his lost clothes and shoes.

Well, I just tried to help him out by giving him some shoes (we have a surplus of shoe donations), and then he got mad because he wanted white ones. Are you freaking kidding me?!? I'm trying to help this guy out, and nothing is good enough. I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of the type of people here (of which there are a good many) who expect us to basically babysit them. They are grown men and women, and unless they have a handicap, they need to start acting like grown adults. Which means being responsible for your own stuff, and not blaming your mistakes on a government conspiracy or lack of compassion for you.

Really, it's his attitude that angers me the most. He (and some others like him) act as if they deserve our servitude. Nothing is ever good enough, and he is grateful for nothing. It angers every part of my being.

I feel that my job here is not to provide for everyone's little individual needs, but to give them what they need to move out of this situation into something better - both physically and spiritually. Well this is basically just a rant... I'm sure I'll be able to look back on it more clearly later on.

A quick update

Ok, so I haven't posted in a while, so here's a quick update. It has been a really busy last week and a half. We have had soooo many volunteers, it's been ridiculous. Yesterday, if we hadn't canceled one of the groups, we would have had up to 70 people here at one time. It would have been a zoo. You have to understand, we only have like 7 full time staff members, many of whom don't even deal with the volunteers. So things have definitely been crazy.

God is working here - I can see the change that He has made in many individuals' lives. A good example is a sweet woman named Dawn, who responded to an alter call last week to receive Christ. She has such a joyful spirit, despite being homeless. In fact 9 people responded to that alter call - a joy to see!

I'm beginning to see and understand more of what these homeless people need. So many times they get the same message about receiving Jesus as their Lord and Savior, which is great. However, I really believe that what the majority of these people need is a push towards maturity - on both a spiritual and a social scale. Spiritually, many of these people claim Jesus as their Savior... but then they go and have no reality of Him in their lives. Socially, these people need to mature to the point where they can contribute to society and strive for a better life.

Pastor Terry (the night chaplain) has already told Chris and I that he wants us to present a message at least once or twice while we are here. I look forward to speaking to these people about maturing in Christ, and how that translates to our physical lives.

"Here is a trustworthy saying" (1 Timothy 1:15a) - "And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone." (1 Thessalonians 5:14) This is what I am striving to do.